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So anyway, I was walking down a secluded street the other night when all of a sudden, I heard a quick vroom of an engine behind me. Before I knew it, a large black van screeched to a halt beside me. I couldn't make out anything identifiable other than the few tinted windows at the front of the van. The side door slid open and 2 guys were faintly illuminated by the cheap looking led light attached to the top of the inside van roof. Inside the interior there were also nice dark red plush seating and a mini bar attached to the side. Both of them were wearing full face ski masks and one of them had what appeared to be a baseball bat. At this point, my confusion turned to panic since they were clearly eyeing me and there were no one else within a 5 block radius. One of them jumped out and said in a very stereotypical mobster accent, "Howyoudoin'? We're ya biggest fans." The other guy chimed in, "Yea, we'd like to ask you a few questions!" "What... kind of questions?" I asked. "Oh, no. We can't ask you that here. Would you kindly step into the van so we can ask you back at our hideou-- er I mean, our office?" 

Of course, the above didn't happen but this crossed my mind when someone, who apparently went through the trouble to make a new dA account just to send me a note asking me to go to a different social media site to ask me a few questions. That's like getting up, walking around the room the long way to get out when the door is 2 feet beside you. 

So, for all the creepy weird people and the hyper social fans who want to know about the artist (within reason) behind the pretty pictures, I'm not getting in your van. Instead, go to ask.fm/mysticalpha. You will most likely get an answer the same day because I have the app installed. Most of the answers will be short and concise. If I can't answer your question because it's either too personal or not in my best interest, then you will get a stupid answer or I'll say it's too personal.
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:iconarticunos-bitch:
Articunos-Bitch Featured By Owner May 14, 2015
If I drove up in a Pikachu van would that convince you? Why not?
Reply
:iconk4nk4n:
K4nK4n Featured By Owner May 14, 2015
I felt the exact same way when I received an E-mail from somebody named "Ahmed Bazira"... I'm serious. I did. Never opened it. Deleted it on sight.
Reply
:iconfusionblitzoc:
I just noticed that this is about me.... I just asked him to go to kik so I wouldn't have to wait multiple hours at a time between responses. I am far from a creep, but I understand where you are coming from, I notice now that I failed to mention why I wanted you to go to kik, but hey who can blame me? It was like 6 in the morning when I sent that shit. also I didnt make a new account just to ask you about that, I was following your work for quite a while and just never saw any reason to make an account but when I wanted to contact you about a commission I had to.
Reply
:iconmysticalpha:
mysticalpha Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You took my knee jerk reaction quite well unlike some others who would do the complete opposite. I get creeps and weirdos in my inbox every now and then including a few that wants me to die in a fire. You seem like a smart individual so far so I suggest you be a little more cautious of how you introduce yourself to new people.
Reply
:iconfusionblitzoc:
FusionBlitzOC Featured By Owner May 14, 2015
To be honest I wasn't even expecting you to reply, I have tried with artists in the past and either gotten no reply at all or was told to fuck off.
Reply
:iconmadalyrar:
MadalyraR Featured By Owner Edited May 13, 2015
I've heard of people doing that before. From now on, anyone that makes a new account to contact someone else in favor of using their own account will have committed an "alphavan"." Those who do it regularly shall be called Alphavaners! Everyone do this. This is now a thing Doctor Thumbs up 
Reply
:iconfusionblitzoc:
FusionBlitzOC Featured By Owner May 13, 2015
lol read my comment, I didn't make a new account, I just made one in particular. I have been following him for some time and I just never made an account and when I finally decided to make one the reasoning was that I wanted him to draw my OC.
Reply
:iconmysticalpha:
mysticalpha Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
meme this now!
Reply
:iconshieldgenerator7:
shieldgenerator7 Featured By Owner May 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
lol yeah this should be a meme
(no offense FusionBlitzOC)

however I dont know how to start a meme trend. anyone?
Reply
:iconfergabmmx:
fergabmmx Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
ohhhhh a metaphorical van ...
not a real physical one ....
Reply
:iconacrinn45:
Acrinn45 Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I almost expected you to say you got in the van, and it turned out they were taking you to a party or something xDD 
Reply
:iconmysticalpha:
mysticalpha Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think that only happens in Sweden.
Reply
:iconpahnazd:
pahnazd Featured By Owner May 13, 2015
Don't you just love that kind of people? That's why I always carry a rocket propelled chainsaw launcher in my hammerspace.
Reply
:iconamon-san:
Amon-san Featured By Owner May 13, 2015
i just would've chalked that one up to spam.
or were there indications that this 'person' was serious?
Reply
:iconmysticalpha:
mysticalpha Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The person actually wanted a commission.
Reply
:iconamon-san:
Amon-san Featured By Owner May 13, 2015
*shakes head* omg, that's so unreal
Reply
:iconanothga:
anothga Featured By Owner May 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Damn it, Alpha. You actually had me worried for a moment there. I was so relieved when I read it didn't actually happen.
Reply
:iconnuclearpoweredpony:
NuclearPoweredPony Featured By Owner May 12, 2015
Awww... cmon. I have candy in the van. :D
Reply
:iconfusionblitzoc:
FusionBlitzOC Featured By Owner May 13, 2015
That doesn't work anymore, You have to have free Wi-Fi.
Reply
:iconpegasusdiver:
PegasusDiver Featured By Owner Edited May 12, 2015
Been in a similar situation for real, once before.

125 grain +P hollowpoints in a SR9C, Shield, or G26 will take care of that. :)

'Merica.
Reply
:iconmysticalpha:
mysticalpha Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
'murica!
Reply
:iconbimmal:
Bimmal Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That's quite the analogy! But, hey, it got me to download the app, so it's certainly effective
Reply
:iconmysticalpha:
mysticalpha Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Let's hope that it has push notifications.
Reply
:iconzapplebow:
zapplebow Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That's heavy, Doc.
Reply
:iconmysticalpha:
mysticalpha Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
There's that word again, heavy...
Reply
:iconmaroy:
MARoy Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
'I NEED AN ADULT"
my god i thought that actually happens for a second, yea that would freak me out too
Reply
:iconaleximusprime:
AleximusPrime Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Geez, you scared me.  But yeah, I hate people who do that too.... -_____-
Reply
:iconsiiver7:
Siiver7 Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL jeez dude, you scared me there :D
Reply
:iconcatspaw-dtp-services:
Catspaw-DTP-Services Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Professional
Wow. I have to wonder if it ever occurred to this person that, gosh, if he or she can go to the trouble of creating a Deviantart account, only to send you a note asking you to go somewhere else to talk, it would work just as well and be vastly more polite to use the new Deviantart account to ask the questions?
Reply
:iconmysticalpha:
mysticalpha Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I was more concerned whether it's a trap or not.
Reply
:iconivybruh:
ivybruh Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
That sounds terrifying ;-;
Reply
:icondallasblack:
DallasBlack Featured By Owner May 12, 2015
I'm a huge fan of your work, but I would never do something creepy like that. I figure if you want to tell us something about yourself, you will. And that goes with any artist I'm a fan of.
Reply
:iconmysticalpha:
mysticalpha Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Unfortunately, there are people out there who do it to others intentionally.
Reply
:iconweaslefire:
WeasleFire Featured By Owner May 12, 2015
That smelly smell, that smells.

Smelly.
Reply
:iconstuhp:
stuhp Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Anchovies...
Reply
:iconweaslefire:
WeasleFire Featured By Owner May 12, 2015
I was leaning more towards bullshit but that sounds mean to say.

I am a little skeptical tho.
Reply
:iconmysticalpha:
mysticalpha Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
They never cleaned the van.
Reply
:iconvoltiac-sev:
Voltiac-Sev Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i thought the above happened >.> y u gotta scare me lik dat?
Reply
:iconmysticalpha:
mysticalpha Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If that really happened, I wouldn't be around anymore.
Reply
:iconvoltiac-sev:
Voltiac-Sev Featured By Owner May 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
true... but still scary xD
Reply
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